:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
