Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
