I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize