Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and she was petting her beer can
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
