If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
