Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You ruined the universe
Randomize
