and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
