Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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