My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
