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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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