Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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