its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
