my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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