is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
