The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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