pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
