Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
