I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
