i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
