Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
