and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
