I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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