im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
