I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
