when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
