it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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