Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You can't just leave with hair like that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
