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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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