Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
