does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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