Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
did i walk over a car last night?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
