The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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