ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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