why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
