dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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