well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
