I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
