hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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