I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
