So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
