So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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