K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
