Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
