Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
