either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
