I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
