He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
