Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
