How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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