I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Pooping to opera.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
