my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
