who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
