I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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