Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
