If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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