at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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