I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
