Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
