I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
