Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
