Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
