How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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