Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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